Sunday, March 27, 2016

Procrastination

Well, I've procrastinated long enough that it's not as raw.  I should have posted on here when I posted on my regular blog, because then I was still in the new, not denial, but surreal stage.  It's been real for awhile now though.
January was hard on my dad, he wasn't doing well and he kept losing more and more of what he was able to do.  He hardly ever left home, and he was having a harder time breathing.  We all felt like it could be any day, because he was failing so fast.  Every weekend we went up to visit and I would hug my frail dad that couldn't hug back.  He would breathily try to say that he loved me and I loved seeing him!  He didn't communicate much other than smile (or try to smile as he progressed further).  Everyday I was excited to see my husband at lunch with no texts (the original plan was for Mom to text Scott, so he could be the one to tell me).  I was in the waiting game.  Waiting for my baby to decide to join us and waiting for my Dad to pass from this world to another.
February came and he was hurting.  You would hope that losing muscle control wouldn't hurt, but it did.  He was sore everywhere he touched the chair he was sitting in.  He got cool cunny boots and elbow pads to help with the rubbing.  He even had a cool leg separator foot prop.  Anything to help him be more comfortable!  He was watching a lot of tv and just spending time.  I took a great picture of he and my mom in their separate chairs sleeping at the same time, with my Mom holding his hand!  They always held hands!  He woke up and smiled when he saw me taking the picture!  That's my Dad!  He knew I loved taking pictures!
I knew he was going soon, and we weren't sure if we'd be able to get the Dan and Danny shot in time, so I had my Mom and Dad take a picture and I made sure my belly was in the shot.  Just in case.  The next day labor started off and on and I had my little Danny the next day (Monday).  We got out of the hospital on Wednesday and then on Thursday while the kids were at school we went up to look for a van to fit us, and I spent time with Mom and Dad while my husband and Uncle looked at a van.  I got the Dan and Danny picture, although now my Dad had a droop to his face (we think he had a stroke).  I was super worried about him and made plans to come back on Saturday.  We couldn't go unless someone came down to help us get there, because we couldn't all fit in our van.  I called my sister to see what was going on to find out that he was doing terrible and we all needed to get there.  She risked missing it and came to help us get there.  She's so amazing!  The nurse spent a while helping him get comfortable, because of all of his pain and hard time breathing.  They worked to get him on his side, because that was better for him.  He finally calmed down and it wasn't too much later that his breathing slowed.  My sister was holding his hand as his breathing continued to slow.  I went in there and soon most of us were in there.  We were still sobbing messes, even though we had hoped we were cried out.  It was very peaceful though!  The biggest problem was the length of time it took for the nurse to get there to pronounce him dead!  It was almost an hour!  Then the funeral plans went into motion.
A few days later we came up to help and distract.  I was able to get the wheelchair accessible van appraised.  The place that sold it to Mom was willing to buy it back for more money!  Woohoo!  So, Mom got that sold before she headed down for the graveside service.  The funeral went well!  Lots of crying, but lots of laughs too as people shared funny memories.  My siblings got a lot done before heading down for the graveside service.  That was hard, but it was great hearing stories about my Dad!  Mom donated as much as she could when she got back, because Dad was all about service!
Now we're slowly going through things and getting the house back to the way it was before ALS hit Dad hard.  We're doing all we can to help Mom out!  She went out to Idaho with my brother for a few weeks, which was fantastic!  Two of my sisters moved in.  Lots going on!
 January (I think)



A couple days before I had Danny.
The Dan holding Danny picture

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Visits

We have been over for a few days now on our extended Christmas break!  I love having the chance to spend time with Dad while Mom takes a nap!  I'll talk and he'll wink and smile when he agrees!  I completely love the yes wink!  I think it's super cool that my mom made a letter chart, so she just uses that to have him spell out what he needs.  I'm going to make a picture chart, so we can figure out what he needs a little faster!  He's been sleeping a lot, and it's funny when my husband is napping at the same time, because my husband snoring will wake him up and he'll smile some, then go back to sleep.  My sister and I were watching funny youtube movies and cracking up, and he was just enjoying us laughing!
I'm also working on another idea.  I want a saliva suppressant mixed with a mouth moisturizer, so his mouth isn't so dry, but he isn't choking on his spit.  I want it to be in a spray bottle like air compressors, so even if his mouth can't open much, you can still spray in there.  Yeah.  Too bad I don't have a chemistry/pharmaceutical degree to work on it!
Either way, we're enjoying our vacation time!

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Just keep smiling

 See that happy face?
 He was trying hard to sing "Happy Birthday" to my son!
Skyping with my brother's family!


Monday, November 16, 2015

He had great fun!

I was super excited to see my Dad after their long vacation, so we drove up on Sunday and saw them for a little bit!  My dad was covered in a blanket, so I asked if he was cold.  He just smiled and kind of laughed.  He wasn't cold, but someone covered him up, and there wasn't anything he could do about it, but laugh!  I love this positive attitude!  I hugged him, and it's strange, because he can't hug back!  But, he mumbled that he loved me!  I love my Dad!
 With his family on vacation
Back at home!

Sunday, October 25, 2015

He came!

Today was my kids' Primary Program at church!  We walked in to see that two of my sisters and my Dad were already there!  Dad has always loved the Primary Program!  He cried a few times, and I was so glad that I was sitting behind him!  I'm so hormonal that I can cry at the drop of a hat!  Our kids did a great job and they loved that their Papaw and Aunts were there!  My sisters are so great for working so hard to get him there and back!  I wanted to take a picture, but my phone was dead.  Just know he is doing well enough that he can talk some and he didn't completely choke on the Sacrament, so hurray!  I have the best family!  I started up a Service website on facebook in honor of my awesome dad-  Dan's ALS Warriors.  He loves service, and I wanted others to serve in honor of him and then post on the facebook page.  I have lots of likes, but no one is really posting.  It's a work in progress.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

He's smiling more!

My dad got to come with the crew to my daughter's baptism yesterday!  I was so excited to see him!  He isn't eating much by mouth anymore, but he still had a milkshake at Braum's after!  He's super hard to understand when he talks, but he's still trying!  He's great!  He smiled a lot and didn't complain at all!  It's awesome considering all he's going through!




Sunday, September 27, 2015

Still making it!

I got to see my dad for the first time in a couple weeks!  He's still super hard to understand, but he spells it out for us!  I love how my mom talks for him all the time!  What a crackup!  She was told to make sure he stays part of the conversation, so she makes up things he's thinking.  She's bound to be right some times!  My kids still crack him up!  They crack me up too!  I went to hug him before I left and he got teary eyes.  My poor dad!  He's a little weaker, but he's still around, so hurray!  I was able to show him the ultrasound pictures of our coming little guy that I'm naming after him and my grandpa!  I love my dad!